Names, characters, places, and incidents are all imaginary, and are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
Ahmad: Hello, my name is Ahmad, and this is my first meeting!
Ahmad: Hello, my name is Ahmad, and this is my first meeting!
In unison: Hello Ahmad, welcome.
Moderator: Welcome Ahmad to your first meeting. We generally go around the room, and allow each one to talk about themselves, and why they believe they are so insecure, and how they compensate or cope with it. Since you are new, we can have you go last. The rules are simple; be honest, be respectful, do not interrupt…but passive aggressive eye rolling, or body posture is allowed. I mean, we’re not perfect, and the least we can do is judge each other silently. Again, welcome, and we are pleased to have you!
So, let’s begin! Who would like to go first?
Josh: I’ll go, first. Hello, my name is Josh, and I am an insecure…or am I? I don’t know, sometimes I think I am fine, and it’s people around me who just have to deal with how great I am. But other times I just get so lonely, and so upset that no one is giving me attention and I just…you know…I, I…I…what am I trying to say?! I guess, I just can’t help but put myself out there in order to cover up my vulnerabilities and feelings of insecurities. So, I travel a lot, right? Awesome…I mean, I love it! I love being able to just hook up with guys everywhere I go. I have friends all over the country, and I know I can fuck any of them any time I travel. It’s awesome really. I guess if I have to be completely honest, I would say that’s how I deal with my insecurities. I need to sleep with as many guys as possible in order to feel validated, and make sure that people really like me. I have so many great friends…they’re more than friends, really; they are more like my family. But I feel like if I don’t fuck them, that our relationship is not that important. I guess I know it’s wrong, but that’s just how I deal with it, I guess.
Moderator: Alright then! Thank you Josh. Everyone, please just keep your feedback to yourself for now. I noticed several eye rolls as Josh was talking; but remember, we are all insecure, and show it in different ways. Who wants to go next?
Greg: Alright, I guess I will try to follow horn dog over here! My name is Greg, and I am an insecure. I am insecure because the world does not recognize how smart I am. I have been mistreated and unappreciated in my work, and I just don’t think they value the caliber of work that I do for them. I like things in order, and I like people to do things the way I want, in the order I want them. I make lists all the time for things I want done, and I call or email it to people. I find that I keep things in check better that way. I’ve lost relationships that way, but it is ultimately not my fault. I think if people appreciated me more, they would realize that what I am doing is best, and they should just try and show some appreciation for what truly a great person I am. But, unfortunately, we don’t live in a perfect world, so I deal with my insecurities, and people’s ineptitude by drinking. I think drinking helps me loosen up. I look forward to it all day actually. It helps me relax, and really express myself the way I want to. I look forward to that drink all day long. I want to go to the bar, and order my first drink ,and just relish the taste. I immediately feel my body calm down, and my tongue loosen up. I like telling people around me how I really feel about them. Perhaps it is easier for them to hear it when I am drunk. I don’t know…half the time I don’t really remember what I said the night before; but I still feel better that I said it. But, who cares, right? As long as it makes me feel better. That’s how I deal with my life!!
Moderator: Alright then! Thank you Josh. Everyone, please just keep your feedback to yourself for now. I noticed several eye rolls as Josh was talking; but remember, we are all insecure, and show it in different ways. Who wants to go next?
Greg: Alright, I guess I will try to follow horn dog over here! My name is Greg, and I am an insecure. I am insecure because the world does not recognize how smart I am. I have been mistreated and unappreciated in my work, and I just don’t think they value the caliber of work that I do for them. I like things in order, and I like people to do things the way I want, in the order I want them. I make lists all the time for things I want done, and I call or email it to people. I find that I keep things in check better that way. I’ve lost relationships that way, but it is ultimately not my fault. I think if people appreciated me more, they would realize that what I am doing is best, and they should just try and show some appreciation for what truly a great person I am. But, unfortunately, we don’t live in a perfect world, so I deal with my insecurities, and people’s ineptitude by drinking. I think drinking helps me loosen up. I look forward to it all day actually. It helps me relax, and really express myself the way I want to. I look forward to that drink all day long. I want to go to the bar, and order my first drink ,and just relish the taste. I immediately feel my body calm down, and my tongue loosen up. I like telling people around me how I really feel about them. Perhaps it is easier for them to hear it when I am drunk. I don’t know…half the time I don’t really remember what I said the night before; but I still feel better that I said it. But, who cares, right? As long as it makes me feel better. That’s how I deal with my life!!
Moderator: Thank you, Greg. That was fascinating. I think we got some good eye rolls going there too. Who wants to go next?
Andrew: I’ll go. Hello y’all…my name is Andrew, but everyone can just call me Andy, and I am an insecure. I have a pretty good life! I actually love my life. I have a big house, fancy cars, and a loving partner. Both of us are very lucky to have amazing friends and family around us. I love him, and our life together. But, I still can’t shake the urge to be validated by other people. I guess that’s where my insecurity comes in. I’m a Facebook addict, and I can’t help but post pictures and updates about myself several times a day. People just lap it up. They love my pictures and my posts. I feel like people adore us…heck, they probably envy us, and just want to be us, or part of my family. I have a big heart, and I would open up my home to everyone to enjoy me and my husband. I feel like posting pictures of myself all day is the least I could do. I love seeing my body in the mirror, and I love posting the pictures for people to enjoy. I mean, why would I deprive people of this? Okay, okay…I know I sound full of myself. I guess if I have to drop the bullshit, I would have to admit that I am afraid of not being noticed. I am afraid of just being a regular person like everybody else. I look in the mirror and I don’t see what people see in me. I know they see a body, but do they really see ME? But I guess if they only see a body, it’s better than not seeing anything at all, right? I don’t want to grow old and just wither away. I want people to notice me. I want people to cut through my walls…the façade that I put up, and really get to know me. Perhaps the pictures and posts that I put online are my invitation to people to notice me and lean closer and try to get to know me. I am a sex object, I get that. I am fine with that. I guess I perpetuate that…but who wants to know Andy?! I guess my photo addiction is how I deal with my insecurities.
Andrew: I’ll go. Hello y’all…my name is Andrew, but everyone can just call me Andy, and I am an insecure. I have a pretty good life! I actually love my life. I have a big house, fancy cars, and a loving partner. Both of us are very lucky to have amazing friends and family around us. I love him, and our life together. But, I still can’t shake the urge to be validated by other people. I guess that’s where my insecurity comes in. I’m a Facebook addict, and I can’t help but post pictures and updates about myself several times a day. People just lap it up. They love my pictures and my posts. I feel like people adore us…heck, they probably envy us, and just want to be us, or part of my family. I have a big heart, and I would open up my home to everyone to enjoy me and my husband. I feel like posting pictures of myself all day is the least I could do. I love seeing my body in the mirror, and I love posting the pictures for people to enjoy. I mean, why would I deprive people of this? Okay, okay…I know I sound full of myself. I guess if I have to drop the bullshit, I would have to admit that I am afraid of not being noticed. I am afraid of just being a regular person like everybody else. I look in the mirror and I don’t see what people see in me. I know they see a body, but do they really see ME? But I guess if they only see a body, it’s better than not seeing anything at all, right? I don’t want to grow old and just wither away. I want people to notice me. I want people to cut through my walls…the façade that I put up, and really get to know me. Perhaps the pictures and posts that I put online are my invitation to people to notice me and lean closer and try to get to know me. I am a sex object, I get that. I am fine with that. I guess I perpetuate that…but who wants to know Andy?! I guess my photo addiction is how I deal with my insecurities.
Moderator: Thank you, Andy!! You really topped the lot here with all the eye rolls going back and forth. I would suggest you and Josh touch base after the meeting. It may do both of you some good…or, on second thought, better not. Don’t do that!! Who’s next? Todd, want to go?
Todd: I’d really rather not…but sure! Hello, my name is Todd, and I am an insecure. I am usually very quiet, and I hate talking to people. I am here because my boyfriend…well, I guess my ex-boyfriend suggested that it may do me some good to get a bit of support for my insecurity issues. It may help me put myself out there more and meet people. I meet people fine online, but generally just to have sex. I guess I identify with Josh here a little bit. Sex makes me feel good, and makes me feel special and wanted by others. I don’t have many friends, and I generally don’t like large crowds or talking to people. I don’t have to talk during sex. I can just smoke some pot, and go at it. They can leave, or cuddle for a bit, then leave, no questions asked, and no drama. I guess I use sex to cover my discomfort with myself and my past. I am a loner…I prefer the company of my pets than people. I like to sit in the sun with my dogs, reading a book, texting, or chatting with people online. I don’t like the way I look. I think I am too skinny, and my ass is too small. I actually hate people seeing me naked. I like having sex in the dark, or when the light is really dim. That is the only way I can be comfortable. I love the bathhouse because the light is dim, and you don’t actually have to talk to anyone. Just get in, get off, go home. What else should I say? Let’s see….I love my job, I guess. I like to travel, and I like watching movies. I guess I don’t see a problem with how I am. That’s just how it is! I don’t like to talk to people, and I plug that hole in my life with having sex. It makes me feel good and validates my life. So, I guess sex is how I deal with my insecurities. It blocks me from connecting with people. It keeps me safe inside my head.
Moderator: Thank you Todd for sharing your thoughts. Les, I see you’re practically sitting on your hands and biting your tongue. Maybe you want to go next?
Les: Oh sure…finally!! Hello, my name is Les, and I am an insecure. I am extroverted and I like to talk and mingle with people over drinks, hooking up, or talking about my life, and my art work. As you may have heard, I am a graphic artist. I am really good actually, and my work has been used by several organizations. I love telling people about the great work that I produce. I mean, it makes me feel good for me to be contributing to all these causes that I care so much about. I love it when I get to talk on stage about the amazing work I do to help these causes. It makes me feel so fulfilled. But, I guess, deep down I am so insecure about myself, and want to be validated. If I am going to be honest, I think I deal with my insecurities by bashing other people. While I don’t do it maliciously, I do find it is easier to just criticize how people do things, or what they say, than to quietly reflect, or to look at my own life. I don’t want to think about the issues I have in my life. I am almost forty years old, but I feel like my life hasn’t been very fulfilling. I am resentful about a lot of things, but I hate to just sit there and talk about them, or analyze them. It’s just so much easier to talk shit about other people. I mean, look at all of you here. Jesus fucking Christ, you all are just yappy and bitching about sex. I have sex all the time. In fact, I love to take pictures of myself having sex with guys, and showing them to my friends. If they don’t like it, fuck ‘em…I probably already did. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m not so perfect…but I think I’m pretty close. My insecurity is just part of me being the artist and great designer that I am. I don’t see much of a problem with it though. Aren’t we all insecure? If you are so insecure and upset about me talking shit about you, then stay home!
Moderator: Wow, well, thank you for that Les. That was, well, very insightful. So, Ahmad, do you want to go next?
Ahmad: Oh, alright, sure. Thank you everyone for speaking and sharing your feelings. It makes me feel better actually hearing everyone’s thoughts. Oh, I guess, I should start by saying, hello, I am Ahmad, and I am an insecure. Wow, it does make me feel better admitting it in public like this. I guess I would describe myself as an extrovert. I love being around people, and I love listening to people talk, and share their thoughts and feelings. I am insecure I guess, because I usually prefer that people talk about themselves than for me to talk about myself. Growing up I aspired to be like my older, and only sister, and to prove myself worthy of my parents’ love and affection. My father is a very driven man, and instilled in me the idea that my life has to mean something, and that I must contribute something to others. So, I guess I am always struggling with the feeling that I am not good enough. I am never satisfied with my accomplishments, and never happy with my work. I can always do better! I think I identify a little bit with each and every one of you. I went through my sexual rampage too. Actually, I think Josh and I met before. I’ve seen you play out in the bar, I think! I used sex to make myself feel better, valued, and desired. I also post pictures of myself on Facebook…but in spurts I guess. But then again, I don’t have a body like yours, Andy!! I like to write, and may be even think I am a creative person, but I don’t think I am that good. I hate what I write, and generally cannot take a compliment. I don’t know!! I guess the older I get, the more comfortable I feel about who I am becoming as a person…but I am still unsure about that level of comfort. I am insecure about my worthiness of love, and of affection. I want to be better, but I am afraid to piss people off in the process of bettering myself. I think I deal with it by putting barriers around myself and making it difficult for people to know me. I protect myself from being hurt by other people, or being vulnerable with others. I am afraid to disappoint those around me, and therefore put up barriers that prevent them from knowing who I truly am. That is how I deal with my insecurities.
Moderator: Thank you, Ahmad! Thank you all for sharing your thoughts as well. I invite you to continue this dialogue amongst yourselves, and to invite your friends who may feel insecure to join us and share their stories too.
